• Meet Anil Dagia

    Meet Anil Dagia

    - ICF Credentialed Coach, PCC
    - Certified Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming
    - Trained in South Africa by Dr Terri Ann Laws
    - Trainer Member of ANLP CIC, UK
  • Unconventional, No Box Thinker

    Unconventional, No Box Thinker

    - Probably India's Most Innovative NLP Trainer
    - Creator & Master Trainer of Emotional Fitness GymTM
    - 1st NLP Trainer in India to offer NLP based training in Online mode
  • Trainer Who Does Not Use Powerpoint

    Trainer Who Does Not Use Powerpoint

    - Trained/coached over 20,000 people across 16 nationalities
    - Conducted Trainings in Dubai, South Africa & India
  • Highly Recommended

    Highly Recommended

    - Watch Video testimonials
    - More than 2000 skill endorsements on linkedin Read More
  • Interviewed by Times Of India

    Interviewed by Times Of India

    - Interview published on Front Page in Times of India - Pune Times dated 18-Oct-2013
    - India's most widely read English newspaper with an average issue readership of 76.5 lakh (7.65 million) !! Read More
  • Interviewed by Mid-Day in Sep-2013

    Interviewed by Mid-Day in Sep-2013

    - Interview published in Mid-Day dated 27-Sep-2013
    - The most popular daily for the Young Urban Mobile Professionals across India Read More
  • Interviewed for 2nd time by Mid-Day in Jul-2014

    Interviewed for 2nd time by Mid-Day in Jul-2014

    - 2nd Interview published in Mid-Day dated 10-Jul-2014
    - The most popular daily for the Young Urban Mobile Professionals across India Read More
  • Interviewed by MJ Shubhra of Radio One 94.3 FM in Nov-2013

    Interviewed by MJ Shubhra of Radio One 94.3 FM in Nov-2013

    - Interview aired on Raio One 94.3 FM on 27-Nov-2013
    - The most popular FM radio station across India Read More
  • Sample Client List

    Sample Client List

  • Practical NLP that you can use in the Boardroom

    Practical NLP that you can use in the Boardroom

    - Probably the only NLP trainer in India who focuses on NLP that you can use
    - Does not focus on Therapy or Classroom Only type of learning Read More
  • Emotional Fitness Gym

    Emotional Fitness Gym

    - A unique model blending the fields of Neuroscience, Emotional Intelligence, NLP into a Fitness model Read More
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The Gift Of Parenting - Insights Of An NLP Trainer - Part 04

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Welcome to Part 04 of this series of articles on parenting aimed at enriching your & your childs life using some of the principles of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), brought to you by 5th Element, Pune. This will be the final part in this series.

nlp-pune-5th-element-anil-dagia-parenting-04-01A lot parents I have spoken with have asked about how they (as parents) can get the children to listen to them and behave as instructed.

I believe that this is one question that every parent must have asked them self at some time or another.

A mother once asked me that her son is always distracted and is not able to focus attention on anything and that is negatively affecting his academic performance. She wanted to know how she could get the son to focus attention on studies and hence improve his grades.

Another mom asked me that her daughter gets very angry and yells when her demands are not met.

One of my observations has been that the child will do what one or the other parent does. nlp-pune-5th-element-anil-dagia-parenting-04-02
Now, I know some of you reading this might wonder how I can be so categorical about it and hold the parents responsible for the childs undesirable behaviors. And it is natural to wonder. And I will explain it in the points below.

Firstly, I ask you to set aside any notions of blame and realize what a wonderful opportunity is present before you. The fact that the child is replicating the behavior demonstrated by one or the other parent only means that this parent has an unprecedented opportunity to influence the child's behavior simply by adapting their own behavior.

nlp-pune-5th-element-anil-dagia-parenting-04-03Secondly, realize that as adults you may have the maturity and wisdom to determine the appropriateness of your behavior as per the context. A young child however is yet to learn all the social contexts and may or may not be able to distinguish the nuances between different contexts. How then can they decide on the appropriateness of the behavior if they cannot even distinguish the differences between the contexts?

For example in case of the mother whose son was 'always distracted' - she had a job function that required her to perform many diverse activities all at the same time. Her son's distraction was exactly the same behavior.

The other mom who complained about her daughters yelling, had not realized that her own voice would climb a few decibel levels when she was having an excited and animated discussion while presenting her views. In a sensory description, the daughter was replicating exactly the same behavior.

Exercise :

Bring out your "Gift of Parenting" diary.
a) Make a list of a few behaviors in your child that you want to be able to influence and change.

nlp-pune-5th-element-anil-dagia-parenting-04-04b) Ask someone close to you and whom you trust, to observe you & others in your family for a few days and find out who demonstrates the same behavior though which might be considered contextually appropriate. Make a note of the context and the influencer.

c) Make a list of contexts in which you would like the child to demonstrate a different behavior.

d) Now, list down how you will create these contexts and have the influencer demonstrate a different behavior in this context.

Watch the magic unfold.



Author - Anil D Dagia, NLP Trainer member of ANLP, UK, Foremost NLP Trainer in Mumbai & Pune (India).

© Copyright 5th Element 2011, Pune


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